Lord of Redwall
by odmonkey
Summary: We're back in novel version. Redwall characters in a LOTR setting. What more could you ask for?
1. The Fellowships of the Ring'

**Lord of Redwall**

**We're back, basically because I love Lord of Redwall too much to let it die. Therefore, taadaa the novel version! Now read it and enjoy. OD xxx**

**Down in Rivendell, the home of Lord Elrond and his elves, there was a certain council taking place. Stately elves, fiery dwarves (fiery of temperament not that they were actually on fire), and out of place men were gathered waiting for Elrond to say his piece. The Lord himself stood, brushed his robe off a bit, cleared his throat and addressed the council.**

"The dark Lord Sauron has joined forces with some animals and is a lot more powerful"

**After this shocking revelation a random elf stands up with a look of bored indifference.**

"Ehh, who cares bout the world of light and good anyway. Get it over with and get us killed I say"

**This garnered the elf quite a few shocked, confused and suspicious looks. Elrond coughed and motioned to one of his servants who came across and hustled the offending elf away; possibly to be taken into the forest and abandoned in a Snow White stylee.**

"Right, as I was saying. He has joined forces with some animals but the good news is we have some furry rodent help of our own!"

**The council exchanged unenthusiastic glances and many eyebrows were raised in Elrond's direction. He coughed again and continued.**

"Anyway, they should be here any minute now"

**A long moment passed. Then another. And another. Elrond shifted uncomfortably, members of the council were staring at him, wondering if he'd finally flipped. Other members looked around Rivendell, yet more members pondered the intriguing mystery of how Elrond got his eyebrows to look like that. Elrond glanced upwards and if there were such a thing as a watch he would have looked at it.**

"I said, they should be here any minute now!"

**From what appeared to be far above them a strange sound travelled to them. As it got closer they recognised it as being halfway between a shriek and a scream. All was silence as the mouse fell out of the sky and crashed at Elrond's feet. It jumped to its feet and looked around, very confused till it was knocked out as a falling sword handle (with sword blade attached) connected with his head. The council winced yet all stayed seated.**

**Elrond hoovered over with a triumphant smirk on his face. He helped the understandably dazed mouse to his feet and stood him facing the entire council. **

"Now, what is your name?"

**The mouse shook its head a few times and spoke up with a charismatic grin on its face.**

"I'm the legendary freedom fighter Martin the Warrior and I'd give my life for my friends … or a twinky!"

**He smiled extra wide and a light from somewhere flashed off his teeth with a strange ping noise. Elrond looked around for the source of the ping but soon dismissed it from his mind as he and the rest of the council plus Martin heard more screaming from above them. The seats of the council jumped slightly as five more mice, an otter, a badger and a squirrel thudded into the ground. **

**The council was silent while the eight fauna heaved themselves to their feet, groaning and massaging painful extremities as they did so. Elrond gestured for them to speak to the council and one by one they said their bit.**

**A mouse stepped forward.**

"I am Gonff the thief, I can pick any lock and escape from anywhere. I'm also Martin's best friend and ally"

**Martin rolled his eyes as Gonff came to stand shoulder to shoulder with him in a display of mouse solidarity. **

**Another mouse took the floor.**

"I'm Mariel the Warrior. Don't give me any lip or I'll lay you out with my gullwhacker"

**She twirled a long piece of rope with a heavy knot at one end and gave Elrond's eyebrows a disbelieving look before taking her place beside the other two. **

**One of the three remaining mice moseyed to the centre of the council.**

"I'm Dandin of Redwall. See this dagger? Awful sharp if you get my meaning"

**He threw the dagger in a fancy manoeuvre to have it stick in the stone above a rather startled elf's head. He then stepped on the elf's lap to reach it down while everyone else wondered how the hell it had managed to stick in stone.**

**The penultimate mouse stood looking very bored and if he could very much enjoy being somewhere else.**

"Matthias, don't annoy me like my damn son"

**He then jumped back wincing as the last mouse kicked him in the shins then spoke.**

"I'm Mattimeo and incredibly unfortunate in being related to him. Chains are fun no?"

**He swung his medium length of chain around, silently willing anyone to come within head cracking distance. The council were feeling slightly uncomfortable at this point; these animals were clearly unhinged.**

**This feeling intensified when the badger said his piece.**

"I'm Sunflash the mace and I'm very wise. In fact I'm basically God so just treat me as such"

**He laughed; the laugh had only a tinge of maniacal energy, only a tinge. The council glanced at each other and debated in their heads the pros and cons of running away from the new arrivals.**

**While the internal debate raged the squirrel introduced himself.**

"I'm Samkin and my tail means everything to me!"

**The council relaxed minutely, this one was obviously the sit in the corner and giggle kind of insane as opposed to the violent insanity of the others. **

**The otter pushed Samkin towards the group and said her thing.**

"I'm Grath Longfletch and shooting people is just too much fun!"

**The council had just about given up and run screaming for the hills but Elrond stood up from his seat.**

"Right, is that everyone?"

**The Redwallers looked at each other and shrugged.**

"Well okay then. You are now the second fellowship of the ring, to go with this other lot"

**He motioned and the original fellowship jumped up and stood facing the new one. It was a moment that would be retold for centuries to come.**

**A dramatic music zing filled the council.**

"Where did that come from?"

r/r peoples!


	2. Hey, that's my line'

_**Lord of Redwall**_

_**Again with the ownage of zip.**_

_**The fellowship(s) had been walking all day. In the opinions of some they had been walking for weeks. In the opinions of others some people were whingeing too much. In the opinion of one in particular mouse Merry and Pippin had better stop asking if they were there yet or, in their opinion, there was going to be trouble. **_

_**Gandalf looked up and pointed to Hollin.**_

"_We'll camp there"_

_**Merry and Pippin decided that it would be a good time to ask if they were there yet again. Mariel was physically restrained from inflicting physical damage but still managed to scare the bejeezenits out of the pair.**_

"_Next time ANYONE asks if we're there yet I will personally make sure that that person will not walk for a week"_

_**Merry's eyes widened and he kept quiet but the reckless fool that is Pippin opened his mouth.**_

"_Are we …."_

"_A MONTH!"_

_**Pippin finally got it and kept his mouth shut until they reached Hollin. There he opened it again when he indulged in a bit of a play-fight/pervy encounter with Merry and Boromir. Martin and Aragorn were sitting on well-placed rocks watching the display. Martin winced.**_

"_Move your feet!"_

_**Aragorn had his mouth open to utter the same line when it filtered through that Martin had already said it. Indignation settled in.**_

"_Hey that's my line!"_

_**Martin fixed him with a look.**_

"_Oh yeah?"_

"_Yeah"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Yeah"_

"_Really?"_

"_You think you're funny don't you?"_

"_I try not to fly in the face of public opinion"_

_**Aragorn glared as Martin owned him and went back to watching the fight. **_

"_I'll get you for this mouse; I have way more fans than you"_

_**Up on the rocks Legolas had spotted the Crebain and was watching them with bemused interest. In the sword fight Merry and Pippin had decided to attack Boromir and all three were wrestling. Dandin and Gonff watched the fight with bemused interest.**_

"_I think he just likes rolling about with small people"_

"_Yeah"_

_**Meanwhile Gandalf had looked up from a discussion on Middle Earth politics and spotted the approaching birds. Sunflash glanced at them.**_

"_What are they?"_

_**Gandalf did that interesting shaking, wide-eyed look (which indicates shock) and yelled at the top of his old wizard lungs.**_

"_TAKE COVER!"_

_**Martin's leader sense pinged and he leapt to his feet.**_

"_HIDE!"_

_**Aragorn also jumped to his feet.**_

"_That's my line!"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_Yeah!"_

_**A gullwhacker thrummed though the air.**_

"_Hide or else"_

"_Yes Ma'm!"_

_**The birds flew around ineffectively for a bit, ate a few berries and purloined the map that one of the good guys had stupidly left sitting on a rock. A map with the route they were taking drawn on.**_

"_Oh well done Legolas"_

"……_Shut up"_

_**Once the Crebain were a reasonable distance away our heroes emerged. They looked around blankly being unsure of where to go as their map had been stolen. Casting an eye over the huge mountain of Caradhas, an idea came to Dandin.**_

"_Why don't we go over the big mountain?"_

"_Best idea I've heard all day"_

_**Gandalf pouted.**_

_**Crossing the mountain all the characters were submerged to the armpits in think snow save Legolas who pranced about on top of it encouraging the rest to keep up. Garnering a few evil looks at the same time I shouldn't wonder. Suddenly everyone's ears pricked up.**_

"_There is a fell voice on the air!"_

_**With that lightening struck the peak and rocks and snow began falling on them.**_

_**Been a while huh? Well remember to r/r folks.**_


End file.
